This is a topic that came to mind while reading some of the recent posts on the main site, and I decided to make a small article about it.

Questioning is something that is, and definitely should be, encouraged within the kin community. It’s important to identify why you feel the way you do and analyze where the feelings may be coming from. But I think it’s also important to address the flip-side: over-questioning. Recently I’ve noticed a lot of people, especially new people, in the kin community who take questioning to the extreme and analyze every little aspect of their kintype, feeling like even the slightest variance or slip-up makes them invalid or fake. There are several things to keep in mind regarding this, though.

1. You don’t need to constantly feel like your kintype(s) to be valid – This may contradict what is said to be the basic definition of otherkin/fictionkin, which is “feeling as though you are in some way a fictional character/non-human being”. That doesn’t mean you have to be focused on those feelings 24/7, or even feel them at all 24/7. It’s pretty much the same with any other identity, you don’t have to keep thinking about it to still identify that way, and over-focusing (such as constantly having to think “I am x”) can actually hinder questioning and awakening because it blinds you to any other feelings you may have.

2. You don’t have to be exactly like your kintype – Regardless of how you believe kin works, it’s important to remember that you’ve likely lived and are in a different life than before and thus there will be some differences because you’ve likely had different experiences. There are people who are exactly the same as they were, but there are others who are completely different now.

3. Things may not always be accurate to what you remember – This is an issue I see pretty frequently and applies more to fictionkin than otherkin. Many have memories that don’t line up with, or in some cases diverge/contradict heavily with their original canon. This is actually a pretty common experience for many and it doesn’t make you invalid. AU (alternate universe) kin exist and are just as legitimate as kin who are accurate to their canon(s).

4. Doubt is normal – In small amounts, it can even be healthy and is often part of the awakening/questioning process. Some things may be clear-cut, but you don’t have to be completely sure of everything right away, or even at all.

5. Sometimes you really won’t be able to explain why you feel the way you do – This is the last point I want to bring up, both because I feel it’s the most important and also the hardest to really work out. Some things just are what they are, and don’t need a reason for it. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t question things, but sometimes it’s important to take time to let things happen and see where they lead you. In my experience, this helps more with identifying new kintypes than constantly thinking about or questioning things does.

Hopefully this helps those who are struggling with figuring things out. It can be a difficult process, but above all else it’s important not to rush things, and remember that no two people experience kin stuff the same way.

-Written by Gin of the Foxmorph system